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Fight Against Boring
October 16, 2018
After the launch party, slumbering out of our tent at a reasonable hour was harder for some than others. The air was crisp and the hunger was debilitating. The organizers were clever enough to have breakfast and morning cocktails available for the debaucherous crowd, but they failed to realize the enormity of our hunger. Lines were an hour long. No worries though as this was the moment we had been waiting for. After some cheeky talk by the founder and some shaming of rally participants, it was on. We all got into our cars and did a lap around the venue. All cars moving slowly while causing a ruckus so that everyone could cheer each other on. Of course since we showed up late, our car was in the back which meant we were the last team to go through. Luckily for us, it gave us a chance to have a good laugh with the organizers and depart with a drag race type exit out of the gate.
Our plan was simple – go to Prague. None of us have been there before and everyone gave mystic reviews of the fun and beer that was available there.
Prague is the capital of the Czech Republic. A landlocked country situated between east and western Europe. Most people know of Prague because of their fantastic beer, beautiful women, and medieval castles that are so prevalent. I know Prague to be a city full of some of the best sausages on earth. I’m talking about a revival of all that is good with the wiener. From the casing to the ground meat mixture, to the spices and cooking techniques, these guys know how to make this phallic pre beer treat properly. To top it off, if you have any resemblance of a soul, you will smother it in their homemade course mustard and fresh grated horseradish. I’m not talking about that gooey, pasty shit your family has been dipping their yearly corned beef in either. I’m talking about a condiment that is so simple and delicious. I started googling ideal growing conditions for the root known as Armoracia rusticana just to see if I could have it readily available upon my return to the motherland.
Anyway… we hung out for a bit and drank some beer. We saw some sights blah blah blah and just like that we were off.
1st stop – St. Polten, Austria. Team Baja Llama was feeling good. The scenery was gorgeous! Rolling hills dotted with postcard like little villages. We thought we were all good. Then JH started to feel like shit. We pulled over multiple times so he could projectile vomit on the side of the road. The first bout of inevitable hurling on this trip had commenced. We arrived to St. Polten, found a schnitzel joint, and immediately decided to get the hell out of dodge. Why spend time here when Vienna was a mere 40-50 minutes away.
If you have never been to Vienna, Austria before – it can be summed up like this. Pristine architecture, militant order, exaggerated prices, unrivaled high end shopping, and most importantly in my opinion, massively tree deficient.
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